Saturday morning. 7:15 AM. The coffee hasn’t even hit my bloodstream yet, and I’m in the backyard of our Columbus home dragging twenty-four cardboard boxes across the grass. Fourteen six-year-olds are arriving at 1 PM for my son Elliot’s birthday. We called it “Mission Control,” but honestly, at that moment, it looked like a recycling…
I learned my lesson about St. Patrick’s Day four years ago. I thought I’d be the “cool auntie” figure and buy one of those 0 green fog machines for Erica’s backyard party. It sounded great until the wind shifted, and instead of a “mystical Irish moor,” we just had ten kids coughing and my Corgi,…
# Bulk Hats for a School Parade: How I Managed 32 First-Graders (and a $14 Budget) If you’ve ever tried to get thirty-two six-year-olds to walk in a straight line for more than ten feet, you know it’s less of a “parade” and more of a “slow-motion riot.” Last Thursday was our school’s annual Spring…
# Donut Birthday Party Ideas: How I Pulled Off a “Donut Grow Up” Morning for 11 Toddlers (6 Total) I didn’t realize how much 11 two-year-olds could accomplish in 90 minutes until I saw my neighbor Lydia’s backyard covered in pink sprinkles last Saturday. We called it the “Donut Grow Up” party for her daughter…
Last month, my daughter Nora turned eight, and she made it very clear that she didn’t want another “cute” princess or tea party. She wanted a “rave.” At least, that’s what she called it. I spent about three hours on Pinterest looking at glow-in-the-dark setups, and honestly, most of them looked like they’d cost $500…
I didn’t sleep well on Tuesday night. If you’ve ever been an elementary school teacher, you know that “Awards Day” is basically the Super Bowl, but with more sticky fingers and much higher stakes. My classroom—Room 2B—is home to 28 of the most energetic second-graders in the state. I love them. Truly. But 28 kids…
Biscuit was personally offended when he saw me packing a bag of catnip last Saturday. He followed me to the door, giving me that specific Corgi side-eye that usually means, “Where are you going, and why does it smell like herbs I’m not allowed to eat?” I had to explain to him that his best…
My dad turned 50 on a windy Saturday in late April, and I remember standing in his driveway at 4:12 p.m. with a roll of painter’s tape in one hand and a Costco sheet cake sliding around in the back seat. We were supposed to rent a private room at an Italian place. Then my…
Last Tuesday, my son Owen’s best friend Toby decided he didn’t want a “normal” party anymore. He wanted to go to Mars. Specifically, he wanted a “Space Mission” in his own backyard in Cincinnati. Toby’s mom, Rachel, called me in a panic because she’d seen those $400 Pinterest setups with life-sized cardboard rockets and fog…
I was taping pink plastic tablecloths to the side of a folding dessert table at 9:14 on a rainy Saturday when Ava’s little sister walked in wearing rain boots, a winter coat, and a plastic tiara that was already missing one jewel. She looked at the room, looked at me, and said, very seriously, “This…
