Last Saturday, I learned that a three-year-old’s lung capacity is roughly equal to a 747 engine. Sam, my friend Courtney’s son, has officially entered the “everything must roar” phase of his life. If it doesn’t have scales, a tail, or the ability to swallow a jeep whole, he’s not interested. So, when Courtney asked me…
Last Tuesday, my son Owen’s best friend Toby decided he didn’t want a “normal” party anymore. He wanted to go to Mars. Specifically, he wanted a “Space Mission” in his own backyard in Cincinnati. Toby’s mom, Rachel, called me in a panic because she’d seen those $400 Pinterest setups with life-sized cardboard rockets and fog…
Toddler Birthday Party Ideas: My 90-Minute Setup Plan (and the Party Hats That Actually Stayed On) I used to think toddler birthday parties needed a “theme” and a color palette and a Pinterest-worthy backdrop. Then I watched a two-year-old have a meltdown because the balloon touched his forehead (not even popped… just touched). That was…
Last Saturday I helped my friend Erica pull off a soccer birthday party for her son Leo (turning 5) in a very normal New Jersey backyard. Nothing fancy. A slightly lumpy lawn, a folding table that wobbles if you breathe near it, and my corgi Biscuit stealing cheese cubes like it’s his job. It ended…
Last Saturday at 7:12 a.m., my six-year-old walked into the kitchen in a Spider-Man hoodie and announced, very calmly, that his birthday party was going to be “a real hero mission.” Not a theme. A mission. He also informed me that his little sister would be “the dispatcher,” which meant she got to boss everyone…
I learned this the hard way: classroom celebrations don’t fall apart because the kids are wild. They fall apart because setup gets messy. I’m talking about that moment when you’ve got 30 kids staring at you, cupcakes are melting, and you’re still digging through a plastic bag for the hats. So here’s my simple, repeatable…
Vanessa called me on a Wednesday night, half-panicking. “Chloe wants a mermaid party. I looked up mermaid performers and they start at $275. For one hour. In a costume that honestly looked like it came from Spirit Halloween.” I told her to close the browser tab. Look—I’ve thrown enough kids’ parties at this point to…
Lindsay texted me at 11 PM on a Wednesday. “Harper wants a rainbow party. She told me this morning and she’s told me nine more times since. I don’t know what a rainbow party even looks like.” I did, actually. Because I’d helped four friends throw birthday parties in the last year and I’d been…
Owen told me in January he wanted a “taco party.” Not a birthday party. A taco party. He’d been saying it since Thanksgiving when my mother-in-law let him build his own taco at the kids’ table and he loaded it with ranch dressing, shredded cheese, and exactly zero meat. He turned to me with sour…
My daughter Norah asked for a “forest with real animals” party three weeks before she turned five. Real animals were not happening. But I spent the next 21 days figuring out how to make our suburban backyard in Columbus feel like an actual forest—and it worked better than I expected. Total cost: $76. Ten kids….
