My living room looked like a NASA junkyard last April when Leo decided that being a mere “Earthling” was officially over. He was turning five, and in his mind, that meant immediate eligibility for astronaut candidacy. I stood there, iced coffee in one hand and a half-chewed dog toy in the other, wondering how to…
@tanyadoesparties: Y’all. I need to tell you about the absolute circus that was planning Ellie’s 7th birthday. My sweet girl, who is usually all about rainbows and unicorns, decided last minute (and I mean, like, three weeks out last minute) that she absolutely, positively, HAD to have a Paw Patrol party. Not just any Paw…
My living room smelled like cold pepperoni and frantic energy on April 12, 2025. Seventeen ten-year-olds were vibrating with the kind of intensity only sugar and a “Retro Rescue” theme can provide. I stood in the center of my small Chicago bungalow, clutching a handful of paw patrol party blowers like they were gold bars….
My living room looked like a primary-colored crime scene last April. It was April 12, 2025, and I was determined to be the guy who actually pulled off a decent birthday for my son, Leo. Most people in Atlanta hire planners for this stuff, but I figured I could handle some plastic bricks and a…
My living room floor was a literal sea of blue balloons and half-eaten cheddar crackers last April 12th when my youngest, Leo, hit the big two. If you have ever tried to wrangle seventeen toddlers in a suburban Portland backyard while it is misting rain, you know my specific brand of Sunday afternoon panic. I…
Twenty-one five-year-olds staring at you with sticky fingers and high expectations is enough to make any sane teacher reconsider her career choices on a Friday afternoon. My classroom, usually a sanctuary of alphabet posters and organized cubbies, looked like a honey pot had exploded during our last Spring Fling. I had been scouring my phone…
My kitchen table looked like a glitter bomb detonated in a flower shop on the morning of April 12, 2024. Maya and Leo, my two-year-old twins, were currently napping, oblivious to the fact that their mother was elbow-deep in moss and hot glue. I had exactly $91 in the “party fund” envelope and nine toddlers…
The humid Austin afternoon pressed against the windows of my bungalow, but inside, I was surrounded by enough biodegradable glitter to coat a fleet of unicorns. My niece, Mia, was turning three on March 14, 2025, and I had promised her parents I could pull off a high-end look on a shoestring budget. Finding creative…
I am a man who once tried to hang five hundred feet of pink crepe paper with a single roll of Scotch tape and a prayer. It did not go well. My house in Atlanta currently smells like a mix of gymnastic chalk and the frantic energy of a dad who realizes he is outnumbered…
Twenty-two third-graders. One classroom. Zero silence. If you’ve never seen a room full of eight-year-olds trying to eat “dirt” pudding while wearing plastic hard hats that keep sliding over their eyes, you haven’t truly lived. I’m Ms. Karen, and after twelve years of teaching in the Houston Independent School District, I’ve learned that a classroom…
