Okay, so I just survived a birthday party for little Timmy (one of the kids I nanny for) and I HAVE to share this with y’all. His mom asked if I could help plan his 5th birthday, and all he wanted was a Mario Party. Like, full-on Bowser, Luigi, mushroom kingdom vibes. My first thought…
My fourth graders at Oak Creek Elementary here in Houston are obsessed with soccer, so when Leo’s mom asked for help with his 10th birthday on March 12, 2024, I knew we needed a soccer birthday cake topper that could survive 22 sweaty, sugar-crazed athletes. Soccer is life in this city. Between the humidity that…
Thirty-two second graders stared at me with unblinking eyes while I balanced a tray of lukewarm chamomile and a stack of questionable cucumber sandwiches. It was March 14, 2024, and I had foolishly decided that my classroom needed a “Polite Society” day to combat the post-recess wrestling matches that were becoming a daily occurrence here…
My son Leo turned seven on March 14, 2025, and like every other kid in Denver right now, he decided his entire existence revolved around catching them all. I spent three weeks obsessing over safety data sheets for plastic whistles and checking the lead content in knock-off figurines. Being a dad who moonlights as a…
My living room looked like a neon rainforest had a head-on collision with a glitter truck on March 14th. It was Maya’s 11th birthday, and if you know anything about pre-teens in suburban Portland, you know they are “too cool” for everything until they suddenly aren’t. Maya and her best friend, Chloe, decided they wanted…
Twenty-two five-year-olds in khaki vests is a recipe for either a core memory or a nervous breakdown, and last Tuesday, I flirted with both. My name is Ms. Karen, and I have taught kindergarten in Houston long enough to know that “safari day” is the loudest day of the school year. We had just finished…
My classroom floor usually looks like a confetti cannon exploded, but last March took things to a whole new level of vibrant chaos. It was March 14, 2025—Pi Day, technically, but my fourth graders had been obsessed with color-coding their folders for weeks, so we pivoted to a full-blown “Rainbow Riot” celebration. I had exactly…
Standing on a shaky aluminum step stool at 1:15 AM last Saturday, March 28, 2026, I realized my life had peaked while trying to tape 40 yards of forest green crepe paper to a popcorn ceiling. My neck cramped. The tape wouldn’t stick. My four-year-old, Leo, was fast asleep, dreaming of prehistoric predators while I…
My living room looked like a neon green crime scene on March 11, 2025. I was standing in our tiny Chicago apartment with sticky fingers and a glue gun that had just bubbled over onto my favorite rug. Maya and Leo, my ten-year-old twins, decided they wanted a “Toddler Core” birthday party. They thought it…
The humidity in Houston on March 12, 2024, was roughly 98 percent, and my second-graders were vibrating with that specific pre-Spring Break energy that keeps teachers awake at night. I had promised Chloe, who was turning eight and still harbored a fierce, unironic love for a certain British pig, that we would have a “Royal…
