Last April 12, I sat on my kitchen floor in suburban Portland surrounded by three shades of blue cardstock and enough hot glue strings to resemble a spiderweb, wondering how on earth I ended up here again. It was Leo’s third birthday—the “Fin-tastic 3″—and the baby shark photo props for kids I’d ordered from a…
The sprinkler system in my Sandy Springs backyard has a mind of its own, a vengeful spirit that usually waits for my daughter Maya to invite seventeen of her closest fifth-grade friends over before it decides to geyser. Last year, on April 20, 2025, I stood there clutching a tray of cucumber sandwiches while a…
The humidity in Chicago on July 14, 2025, felt like a wet wool blanket, but that didn’t stop eighteen rowdy 10-year-olds from screaming at the top of their lungs in my backyard. My twins, Leo and Jax, were hitting the double digits. I had a strict $50 budget in my head, but after a few…
I am currently standing on a wobbly kitchen chair in my suburban Portland living room, holding a piece of double-sided tape between my teeth while my four-year-old, Leo, screams because the TV remote is “too cold.” It is April 12, and I have exactly nineteen minutes before twelve toddlers and their exhausted parents descend on…
Living in a drafty three-flat in Logan Square with twin three-year-olds means my life is a constant cycle of wiping fingerprints off windows and hunting for lost socks. On March 12, 2024, my twins, Leo and Maya, decided their entire existence revolved around a certain British pig and her obsession with boots. I had exactly…
April 14, 2024, was the day the blue streamers nearly won. The humidity in Houston hit ninety percent by ten in the morning, making the air in my classroom feel like we were actually underwater. I had twenty-two three-year-olds staring at me with that “we haven’t had our nap yet” look. My mission was simple:…
Twenty-four second-graders stood in a jagged circle in my Houston classroom on March 14, 2024, their eyes wider than dinner plates. I held the rope, my biceps screaming, while Leo, a particularly spirited seven-year-old, swung a plastic bat at a cardboard house that refused to die. We were celebrating our spring “Miracle” party, and the…
My living room looked like a recycling center had exploded, but Leo was beaming. Last June 12th, my oldest turned nine, and he decided—with the absolute certainty only a fourth-grader can muster—that he needed a “Cybertronian Celebration.” I stood in our kitchen in suburban Portland, staring at a mountain of Amazon boxes and a Pinterest…
I am currently sitting on my lint-covered sofa in suburban Portland, clutching a lukewarm cup of coffee and trying to scrub blue frosting out of the rug while my four-year-old, Leo, “rescues” the cat for the twelfth time this morning. We just finished his big birthday bash last Tuesday, October 12, 2025, and my living…
@caleb_partydad: Hey everyone, Caleb from Omaha here. So, Easter is just around the corner, and I’m already feeling the familiar dread of the annual egg hunt. Last year, between Milo (1), Noah (2), Theo (5), and Milo (6) – yep, two Milos, don’t ask – it was pure chaos. We had planned an outdoor hunt,…
