Eighteen five-year-olds in a living room during a Houston humidity spike is a recipe for disaster. My living room smelled like damp socks and grape juice last Saturday. I sat on my floral sofa, clutching a lukewarm coffee, watching Lily and Jax argue over who got to be the “real” Elsa. This was my niece’s…
Houston humidity is the absolute natural enemy of a perfectly curated birthday aesthetic, and I learned that the hard way on March 12, 2024. My niece Lily was turning five, and she has this specific, unwavering devotion to Wayfinding that only a preschooler can maintain. Eleven kids were descending on my small living room, and…
The sun beat down on our East Austin bungalow last November 14th like it had a personal vendetta against my overpriced charcuterie board. I was sweating through my linen jumpsuit, frantically trying to arrange thirty-two tiny succulent building sets before my husband Leo’s 30th birthday guests arrived. We weren’t doing the standard brewery crawl or…
My living room currently looks like a rabbit exploded in it. There are white cotton balls glued to the floor, three different shades of pink crepe paper hanging off the chandelier, and my 4-year-old, Leo, is currently hopping around wearing nothing but a pair of fuzzy ears and a very determined expression. It is April…
My classroom floor still has a faint green rectangular stain from a spray paint mishap last March, and quite frankly, it’s a badge of honor. I spent three hours in the blistering Houston humidity on my driveway trying to turn 16 Amazon boxes into Steve and Alex heads for Leo’s 6th birthday. It was March…
My kitchen table in Chicago currently looks like a cattle ranch exploded on it. There are stray pieces of hay stuck to my sweater, and my twins, Leo and Maya, are arguing over who gets the “coolest” sheriff badge. We are forty-eight hours away from their 12th birthday bash. People told me that once they…
@arjun90 Princess Party Hat Dilemma – Help a Frugal Dad Out! Hey everyone, Arjun here from Indianapolis. My youngest, Owen (he’s 3 now, can you believe it?), is obsessed with princesses thanks to his older sisters, Meera (11) and Jude (4). So, naturally, his upcoming birthday on April 15th is going to be a full-blown…
Twelve-year-olds are a mystery. Last week, my daughter Maya decided her birthday theme had to be Cocomelon. Yes, the show for toddlers. She called it “ironic chic,” but as a dad in Denver who spent a decade reviewing consumer products for safety, I just saw a logistical nightmare. I had exactly fifty-eight dollars to make…
Austin humidity is no joke, but neither is an eight-year-old with a Pinterest board and a dream of being a Victorian socialite. My niece Sophie looked at me last month with that terrifyingly focused gaze and declared she wanted a tea party, specifically the “fancy kind with big hats.” As a self-proclaimed party enthusiast and…
I failed. Miserably. It was July 2022, and the humidity in Atlanta was thick enough to chew, which probably explains why the frosting on my attempt at a Rubble cake melted into a yellow puddle that looked more like a construction site accident than a dessert. My son, Leo, looked at it, looked at me,…
