Twenty-two first graders staring at me is enough to make any sane person sweat, but on Tuesday, April 16, 2024, I had a secret weapon tucked inside my desk drawer. Houston humidity was already at 85 percent by nine in the morning, and the smell of old bananas and pencil shavings hung heavy in Room…
Maya stood in the middle of our backyard last July, clutching a “Heart of Te Fiti” mocktail while squinting at the flickering tiki torches. She was turning sixteen, and she had just informed me that if I put one single cartoon character on a paper plate, she would “literally pass away.” Planning a celebration for…
Standing in my Austin backyard last March, sweating through a silk blouse while trying to tape a red-striped backdrop to a fence that smelled like cedar and humidity, I realized something vital. Adults are just giant toddlers with better jewelry and access to margaritas. I was setting up for my best friend Chloe’s 30th birthday—a…
Last April 12, I stood in my Houston classroom watching fourteen frantic six-year-olds vibrate with enough energy to power a small city. My daughter Sophie wanted a “scary but cute” prehistoric bash, and I had exactly eighty-five dollars and three hours of sleep to make it happen. You might think being a teacher makes me…
Leo turned six on a Tuesday in Denver, but we didn’t celebrate until Saturday because I’m a dad who values sanity and a full night of sleep. I stood in the middle of our backyard, clutching a stack of flimsy, bargain-bin plates that were already wilting under the weight of some lukewarm hot dogs. That…
Pancakes are currently stuck to my ceiling. I wish I was joking, but when you host a budget pajama party for 2 year old, the physics of syrup become unpredictable. Last Saturday, I stood in my kitchen in Atlanta, clutching a lukewarm coffee, watching five toddlers in mismatched onesies try to “help” me flip flapjacks….
My kitchen looked like a crime scene involving Earl Grey and pink glitter last June. Maya, my daughter, had just turned six, and she decided—with the unwavering confidence only a kindergartner possesses—that she needed a high-society tea party. As a single dad in Atlanta living on a budget that screams “clearance aisle,” I panicked. I…
Easter Egg Hunt + Corgi = Chaos! Pet Safety SOS! @javierdoesparties: Hey party peeps! 🥳 Easter’s coming up fast, and I’m already deep in planning mode for Caleb’s (my 4-year-old nephew, bless his cotton socks!) annual egg hunt! This year, it’s at my place here in New Orleans, and honestly, it’s gonna be epic! We’re…
Leo spent the better part of his fourth year convinced he was actually a backhoe. He didn’t walk; he treaded. He didn’t eat; he excavated. So, when his fifth birthday started looming last August, I knew I had to figure out how to set up a construction party at home without spending my entire mortgage…
Last March, right when the Portland cherry blossoms were teasing us but the rain was still dumping sideways, my middle child, Maya, decided her 5th birthday had to be “under the sea.” I am talking full-blown scales, seafoam green everywhere, and the absolute necessity of the perfect mermaid treat bags for kids that would not…
