My living room looked like a rainbow-colored tornado hit it on April 12, 2025. It was my daughter Maya’s 7th birthday, and if you have ever tried to wrangle eight high-energy kids in a Denver backyard during a sudden wind gust, you know the stakes. I am that dad. I’m the one who reads the…
Standing on my back deck on July 12, 2025, I watched a single, translucent blue orb bob rhythmically against the pool skimmer. My five-year-old, Leo, was screaming with delight, but all I could think about was the pump impeller. I am that dad. I check the certifications on the toaster and read the fine print…
Twenty-two second graders staring at a stack of greasy cardboard boxes is the closest thing to a riot I’ve seen in my twelve years at West Oaks Elementary here in Houston. It was March 12, 2024, a Tuesday. I remember the date because it was “Pi Day” (observed early for Spring Break), and I had…
Thirty-five years of dodging pixelated shells and jumping over bottomless pits led me to a realization: we never actually grow out of the Mushroom Kingdom. Last August, specifically on the 12th, I decided to throw a “Level 35” birthday bash for myself in my Park Hill backyard here in Denver. I wanted a vibe that…
My living room smelled like damp grass, orange slices, and the lingering scent of thirteen sweaty seven-year-olds who had just spent two hours pretending they were the next Lionel Messi. Teaching third grade in Houston for twelve years has taught me that if you don’t give children a designated way to be loud, they will…
My living room looked like a unicorn exploded in a physics lab last Tuesday afternoon. Leo turned eleven on April 12th, and despite my attempts to steer him toward a “cool” space theme, he insisted on a prismatic, spectrum-heavy bash. He calls it the “Optics Extravaganza,” but for the rest of us, it was a…
Leo turned eight on a Tuesday, which is basically the worst day for a birthday party in the history of Portland. It was raining sideways, the kind of grey Oregon drizzle that makes you want to live in a blanket fort forever. I had glitter in my lukewarm coffee, pepperoni grease on my favorite leggings,…
I stood in my kitchen last Saturday, April 11th, staring at a box of store-bought vanilla mix and feeling like a total failure. My twins, Leo and Maya, were turning two, and my sister Anita was hitting the big 3-0 on the exact same day. Chicago weather was doing that thing where it pretends to…
Last April, I found myself knee-deep in blue cardstock and non-toxic glitter glue while my four-year-old, Leo, hummed that relentless shark tune for the nine-thousandth time. We live in Denver, where spring weather is about as predictable as a toddler’s mood, and I had exactly three weeks to pull off a birthday bash that wouldn’t…
August in Austin is basically the surface of the sun, but I decided to host my nephew Leo’s second birthday party in my backyard anyway. My hair was a frizz-bomb within ten minutes, and the brisket sliders were sweating, but I had a vision. That vision centered entirely on a massive, sprawling space party balloons…
