I spent four hours staring at a bluey party cake topper set on my kitchen table last April while my two-year-old, Leo, tried to eat a crayon in the background. My first attempt at party planning back in June 2024 was a Spiderman disaster that cost me $120 and left me with a cake that…
Leo and Maya stood in our small Chicago kitchen on April 12, 2026, staring at a pile of primary-colored streamers like they were looking at a puzzle. They were turning twelve. Most kids that age want a gaming truck or a trip to the mall, but my twins are different. They decided, with that weird…
My head is 24 inches around, which puts me in the 98th percentile for human skull circumference, a fact I only realized when the search for a functional space crown for adults became a matter of professional survival last March 12. My daughter, Maya, was turning 6. We were hosting a “Galactic Denver” bash in…
My kitchen floor was a literal sea of black construction paper scraps, and I was pretty sure my 4-year-old had just eaten a plastic gold doubloon. It was March 12, 2024, and the Portland rain was hammering against the windows like a rhythmic drum, mocking my plan for an outdoor treasure hunt. I had exactly…
Twenty-two second-graders in a single classroom during a Houston thunderstorm is a recipe for what I call “the twitch.” That twitch in my left eyelid usually starts around 1:45 PM when the humidity hits 95% and the kids realize we can’t go to the playground. Last February 12, I sat at my desk watching Marcus,…
Twenty-two first-graders in a Houston classroom during a rainy indoor recess is exactly what I imagine a construction site feels like, minus the OSHA regulations and plus a lot more glitter. Last October 12, 2024, my student Leo turned seven, and his mom brought in the most chaotic, wonderful “Dig Zone” setup I have seen…
My living room in Austin currently looks like a red felt explosion occurred, mostly because my nephew Leo decided that for his eighth birthday on March 12th, 2025, he wanted nothing but Elmo everything. Being a millennial dog mom means I treat every family event like it’s the Met Gala, but my bank account definitely…
My kitchen looked like a cartoon dog had exploded. Blue and orange frosting covered the countertops. My golden retriever, Barnaby, was aggressively licking an alarming amount of buttercream off the linoleum floor. I had exactly forty-eight hours until eighteen screaming four-year-olds descended on our backyard here in Austin, Texas. My son Leo’s absolute obsession with…
Thirteen five-year-olds screaming “Shiny” at the top of their lungs while my golden retriever, Barnaby, tried to eat a synthetic hibiscus flower was not how I envisioned my Saturday afternoon in Austin. My niece Lily had one demand for her fifth birthday on April 11, 2026: she wanted to be Moana. Not just a costume,…
The high-pitched squeal of fifteen six-year-olds echoed off my living room walls in Denver last Saturday, April 12th, and I realized I had severely underestimated the lung capacity of Lily’s kindergarten class. My daughter Lily wanted a Peppa Pig extravaganza for her 6th birthday, but I wanted something that wouldn’t fall apart or end up…
