The Austin humidity was sitting at a disrespectful ninety percent when my niece, Lily, casually declared that her twelfth birthday would be a “woodland rave.” I stared at my rescue terrier, Barnaby, who sneezed in solidarity. Twelve is a weird age. They want magic. They want aesthetic photo ops. But they also desperately want to…
Rain was pelting the living room window. Typical Portland in October. Muddy boots were kicked haphazardly by the front door, leaving a trail of dried dirt across my rug. I was sitting on the floor surrounded by a mountain of red and blue tissue paper, quietly crying over superhero treat bags. My middle kid, Leo,…
My living room looked like a sparkly ocean threw up all over the mid-century modern rug we just bought. Last Saturday, I found myself untangling a plastic seaweed garland while my five-year-old daughter, Lily, shrieked with joy. We were hosting her under-the-sea birthday bash, and I had foolishly promised a dedicated photo booth for the…
I panicked. The giant green foil T-Rex was floating aggressively toward our living room ceiling fan, and twenty toddlers were screaming in absolute terror. Dave was turning 40. I wanted something funny, slightly nostalgic, and decidedly not boring for his milestone bash in our rainy Portland backyard. Searching for dinosaur balloons for adults felt ridiculous…
I stood in my Atlanta kitchen staring at a mountain of neon green cardboard. My son Leo was turning five. His ten friends were arriving in exactly two hours. And I, a single dad who usually handles birthdays by throwing a fistful of cash at a trampoline park and hoping for the best, had somehow…
Green frosting was permanently bonded to my favorite sneakers. That was the aftermath of my son Leo’s 4th birthday party last spring. As a single dad living in a cramped Atlanta duplex, pulling off a themed event felt like trying to defuse a bomb blindfolded. I failed spectacularly on my first attempt. I froze. Total…
The smell of Meyer lemons still gives me minor stress flashbacks. Last May 14th, I volunteered to host a “Main Squeeze” citrus bash for my friend Sarah’s daughter, Lily. Eleven kids. All age two. It sounded adorable on paper. My own kids are 4, 7, and 11, so I arrogantly thought I had this toddler…
Pink glitter is currently embedded in the grout of my kitchen floor and I am honestly okay with it. My house in Austin still smells faintly of strawberry-scented spray paint from last March 14, 2025, when I decided that my niece Maya’s ninth birthday needed to be a full-blown pink production. I spent exactly $91…
Sophie sat there, face smeared with organic strawberry jam, looking like a tiny, sticky monarch. It was June 12, 2024, and I was deep in the trenches of my first toddler event in our Denver backyard. Finding the best crown for tea party party success isn’t just about the aesthetic; it’s about making sure nobody…
My daughter Chloe turned three last April, and if you know anything about three-year-olds in Denver right now, you know that Trolls are not just a movie; they are a lifestyle. I spent three weeks researching the perfect trolls party party favors set because I refuse to be the dad who sends kids home with…
