The rain was slamming against my kitchen window in Lake Oswego last March while I stared at a pile of half-melted beeswax and three very confused kids. I failed. Again. The wax was everywhere. My 4-year-old, Ben, decided that liquid paraffin looked like apple juice, and my 11-year-old, Mia, was currently recording my breakdown for…
Twenty-three three-year-olds in a humid Houston living room sounds like the start of a horror movie, but for me, it is just another Tuesday in March. Last year, on March 14, 2024, I found myself crouched behind a kitchen island, desperately trying to reattach a dorsal fin to a fondant predator while “Baby Shark” blasted…
Thirteen eleven-year-old boys screaming “Arrr!” in a South Austin backyard is a specific kind of core memory that stays with you, mostly in the form of a low-grade ringing in your ears that lasts for three days. My nephew Leo turned eleven on October 14, 2025, and because I am the “cool aunt” who also…
My kitchen floor was a crime scene of neon orange nacho cheese and shredded paper pulp. It was June 12, 2023, and I had just attempted my first solo birthday bash for my son, Leo, who was turning eight. I thought I was being smart. I bought the cheapest white paper plates I could find…
Chloe turned five on April 14, 2025, and her only demand was “pink cat.” That was it. My sister, Jess, was losing her mind trying to find specific hello kitty party blowers that didn’t sound like a dying goose or fall apart after two puffs. I stepped in because I live for this. Austin party…
Twenty-two eleven-year-olds in a humid Houston classroom is a recipe for disaster unless you have a plan involving sugar and waterproof glue. Last Tuesday, my fifth graders finally finished their grueling state testing, so I decided to reward them with the underwater theme Madison had been begging for since September. Being a teacher means throwing…
The wind whipped across my patio in Highland, Denver, on February 9, 2025, exactly three hours before my son Leo’s fifth birthday party was scheduled to kick off. I stood there, shivering in a light hoodie, watching my $22 PVC pipe frame buckle like a cheap lawn chair. I thought I was being clever. I…
Twenty fourth-graders staring at you with expectation is a specific kind of pressure that most people only experience in stress dreams. I live it every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon during our “Royal Reading” sessions, but nothing compares to the absolute chaos of a Houston elementary school birthday bash. Last January 12th, I helped my friend…
Snow was still melting on the curbs of Logan Square last March 14th when I realized I had exactly forty-two dollars left in my “fun” envelope and twenty-two five-year-olds arriving in three hours. My twins, Leo and Maya, were obsessed with Peter Parker. They didn’t want a “nice” party; they wanted to crawl up the…
I stared at my bank account on March 15, 2026, wondering how on earth I was going to pull off a birthday for twins in the middle of a Chicago gale without crying. My twins, Maya and Leo, were turning 12, an age where they are too cool for “baby” stuff but still secretly love…
