My living room in suburban Portland currently looks like a neon green and yellow grenade went off, and honestly, if I hear that specific high-pitched giggle from JJ one more time, I might actually scream into a throw pillow. Leo turned four last Tuesday, April 14th, and after the absolute wallet-draining disaster of his sister…
My living room in Beaverton looked like a rainbow had physically exploded, and not in the cute, Pinterest-worthy way I’d imagined when I started scrolling for trolls party supplies amazon at 2 a.m. It was April 12, 2025, exactly three hours before my middle daughter Poppy—yes, we actually named her that before the movie fame—turned…
Seven rolls of teal streamers lay melted against my baseboards because the Houston humidity decided to turn my living room into a literal swamp last August. I was twenty minutes away from twenty-two second-graders storming the castle—or the grotto, I suppose—for my daughter Chloe’s seventh birthday, and I was sweating through my “Best Teacher Ever”…
My kitchen island currently looks like a Pikachu exploded all over it, and honestly, my second cup of cold coffee is the only thing keeping me upright. It is early April here in suburban Portland, which means the rain is relentless and my oldest, Leo, is officially turning twelve. He told me last week that…
My backyard in Denver looked like a scene from a low-budget action movie last June 14th. Leo was turning twelve. That age is tricky. They are too old for “baby” stuff but still young enough to lose their minds over a plastic hammer. Twenty kids descended upon our patio. I had exactly $53 in my…
I never thought I’d be hot-gluing felt teeth to a stick at 1 AM for a middle schooler. My oldest daughter, Lily, turned 11 on February 12th. Instead of a Taylor Swift or aesthetic skincare theme, she requested an “ironic” toddler theme. Middle schoolers are deeply weird. So there I was, frantically searching the internet…
I still have a tiny, jagged piece of a ceramic teacup sitting on my home office desk in Denver as a warning. Last October, my daughter Lily turned nine. She demanded a sophisticated afternoon tea with twenty-one of her loudest friends. My first instinct was to scour local thrift stores for mismatched real china. Terrible…
My kitchen island looked like a unicorn had violently exploded. It was October 14, 2023, just two hours before my niece Maya’s 10th birthday party here in Austin, Texas. I was panic-sweating. My French Bulldog, Kevin, was actively chewing on a piece of yellow crepe paper he stole off the floor. Total chaos. I just…
My 80-pound golden retriever, Barnaby, inhaled three feet of yellow caution tape exactly one hour before the first guest arrived. That was my frantic, slightly unhinged introduction to hosting a toddler birthday bash in my tiny, sun-baked Austin backyard last October 14th. My sister had officially outsourced the “photo booth” portion of my nephew Leo’s…
I am a complete sucker for a heavily themed party. Living in Austin, Texas, with my golden retriever mix, Barnaby, I usually channel my aggressive hosting energy into dog birthday bashes. But last month, my sister begged me to plan her daughter Mia’s 9th birthday. The brief was simple: “Swan Lake but make it fun.”…
