The day I realized a two-year-old’s lung capacity rivals a jet engine was March 12, 2024. My daughter Maya was turning two, and I had foolishly decided to host ten toddlers in my small Kirkwood bungalow here in Atlanta. I stood in the middle of my living room, surrounded by half-inflated balloons and a sense…
My kitchen floor looked like a literal disaster zone on the morning of April 12, 2025. Yellow spray paint stained my knuckles, and I had a pile of cardboard boxes that smelled faintly of old Amazon shipments and fresh adhesive. I was knee-deep in planning for Leo and Sam, my two-year-old twins, and I was…
The wind rattled my kitchen window on March 14, 2024, as I stared at a pile of mismatched saucers and a very empty wallet. My twins, Maya and Leo, were turning six, and they had decided—with the unwavering stubbornness of kindergartners—that they needed a “fancy royal tea” or the world would basically end. In Chicago,…
Austin stays weird, but my backyard on March 14, 2025, stayed aggressively pink. I spent three weeks obsessing over the perfect Sanrio-themed bash for my daughter Chloe’s 9th birthday, but if I am being 100% honest, the entire vibe was curated for the moms. We are the generation that grew up hoarding scented erasers and…
Twenty-two second graders can smell fear like a heifer smells rain. I have spent fifteen years in a Houston classroom, and if there is one thing I have learned, it is that a party is only as good as the exit strategy. Last May, I hosted what I thought would be a simple “End of…
My daughter Lily turned ten last month, and her birthday request was a high-stakes tea party involving exactly nine of her most energetic friends. I am the guy who usually reads the fine print on car seats and checks the UL listing on every kitchen appliance, so I approached this princess-themed chaos with the same…
My living room in East Austin still has iridescent glitter embedded in the floorboards from last March. It was my niece Maya’s 7th birthday, and I went full-on unicorn. I’m talking “Best Aunt Ever” status. But if you think a plate is just a plate, you haven’t seen a soggy piece of sheet cake slide…
Snow was still piled against the side of our house in Denver on March 14th, and my son Leo was insisting on a rescue-themed bash for his 9th birthday. Most parents might think nine is a bit old for pups in uniforms, but Leo has always been obsessed with the gadgets and the “no job…
My husband Dan turned forty last April, and since we live in a house that smells like grass stains and old cleats thanks to Max (11), Sophie (7), and little Leo (4), a baseball pinata for adults felt like the only way to celebrate. It was raining in Portland—shocker, I know—so we were crammed into…
Last Tuesday, my kitchen counter disappeared under a mountain of green cardstock, half-eaten chicken nuggets, and a very confused golden retriever. I was trying to find a safari party invitation set that didn’t look like a generic clip-art nightmare from 2005 for Leo’s 7th birthday on May 14th. Life in suburban Portland usually involves a…
