My kitchen floor looked like a crime scene involving a rainbow and a very angry hedgehog on April 12, 2025. I was standing in the middle of it, sweating through my “World’s Okayest Dad” t-shirt, while trying to untangle five miles of fishing line from a bunch of superhero balloons that refused to stay in…
Austin in March is basically a coin flip between “pleasant spring breeze” and “surface of the sun,” and on March 15, 2026, the sun definitely won. My son Leo was turning two, and I decided that throwing a “Rookie of the Year” bash at Zilker Park was the move. I was wrong about the heat,…
My 11-year-old, Leo, has an appetite that currently rivals a small horse. Last November 12, 2025, he decided he wanted a budget football party for teen friends, specifically the entire defensive line of his middle school team. I looked at my bank account, then at the rainy Portland sky, and sighed. Hosting fourteen boys who…
Teaching twenty-two second graders in Houston has taught me that if you don’t have a plan for where the liquids go, they will end up on your rug. My classroom rug has seen things. It has seen blue frosting, grape juice, and one memorable incident involving a science experiment with vinegar that I still don’t…
Twenty-two sixth graders in a suburban Houston living room sounds like a recipe for a migraine, but last March, I decided to tackle the ultimate Super Mario birthday bash for my nephew, Leo. While I usually spend my days grading long-form essays and trying to convince ten-year-olds that multiplication is actually useful, my Saturday was…
The humidity in Chicago on July 15th feels like a wet wool blanket wrapped around your head while you try to blow up eighteen inflatable dolphins in a parking lot. Last summer, my twins, Leo and Maya, turned four. We had fourteen kids and about ten exhausted parents gathered at the Humboldt Park splash pad….
My living room looked like a blizzard hit a glitter factory, and frankly, I was one blue cupcake away from a total meltdown. It was March 14, 2025, and I was staring down the barrel of a birthday party for my daughter Lily and 15 of her loudest friends, all turning ten. Being a single…
My daughter Chloe turned ten on March 14, 2026, and I spent the preceding three weeks sweating over the logistics of a snowy Denver afternoon filled with sixteen energetic kids. Being a dad who reads the fine print on every toy label, I couldn’t just grab a bag of cheap plastic whistles and call it…
Snow hammered against our Denver window last March 12th while I stared at a square, green cake that looked suspiciously like a failed science experiment. My son Leo was turning two. He doesn’t even play the game yet, but he loves “the blocky man” on his cousin’s iPad, so here we were, knee-deep in a…
The wind off Lake Michigan screamed against my window on March 12th as I stared at my bank balance, realizing my twins, Maya and Leo, were turning six in exactly sixteen days. Logan Square living isn’t cheap, and after our radiator decided to give up the ghost in February, my “party fund” had been swallowed…
