Twelve-year-olds are a strange species. My son, Sam, informed me three weeks ago that his birthday theme needed to be “ironic toddler core.” This meant he wanted the most juvenile, ear-worm-inducing decorations possible for a room full of middle schoolers who are currently obsessed with skating and complex Minecraft mods. I found myself standing in…
I remember sitting on my living room floor last October, specifically on the 14th, surrounded by three different shades of navy cardstock and a very confused golden retriever named Barnaby. My niece, Maya, was turning one, and my sister-in-law had tapped me as the “Creative Director.” That basically meant I was the one tasked with…
The Celestial Obsession: Why We’re All Staring at the Ceiling I stood in my living room last March, specifically on Tuesday the 12th, staring at a pile of discarded cardboard stars and feeling like a total failure as a parent. My son, Leo, was turning two. I wanted magic. I wanted that soft, ethereal glow…
Elliot’s birthday list this year had two items. Item one was a FNAF plush he’d been watching on Amazon for four months. Item two was, and I’m quoting directly: “a real Fazbear’s party where it actually feels like being stuck there.” I set the list aside and googled “Five Nights at Freddy’s birthday party ideas.”…
Cassie texted me three words: “MLP. Help. Please.” Her daughter Zoey was turning 6 and had declared, about four months in advance, that she wanted a My Little Pony party. Not Princess Pony. Not generic rainbow horses. My Little Pony — specifically Sunny Starscout, Izzy Moonbow, and the whole G5 crew from A New Generation…
Brianna texted me three weeks before Ryan’s ninth birthday with a six-word panic: “Sonic party. No ideas. Please help.” I’ve known Brianna for four years. She color-codes her grocery lists. She once organized a neighborhood block party with a printed itinerary and a volunteer sign-up sheet. Sonic had stumped her. She’d been through every search…
Marcus had been at eleven birthday parties in two years. I know this because I’ve been at most of them — Caleb’s ninja party, Maya’s butterfly garden, Ava’s princess ball, Liam’s Star Wars academy. He’s the kid who shows up, reads the room in about forty-five seconds, and commits completely to whatever the theme is….
Tammy called me on a Wednesday night, already laughing. “Zoe watched Despicable Me 4 four times last weekend. She wants yellow everywhere. She keeps saying BELLO when I answer the phone.” I told her we could do this for under a hundred dollars. She was skeptical. We ended up spending $82.17. Eleven kids came. Biscuit…
Norah asked for a Stitch party in October. At the time, I was still unclear on exactly what kind of creature Stitch was — alien? dog? both? — but I knew he was teal and she loved him, so I said yes. Then the live-action movie dropped and by February I was fielding texts from…
My friend Danielle called me last Tuesday in a state of what I can only describe as “Nintendo Panic.” Her son Leo was turning seven, and he didn’t just want a Super Mario party—he wanted to live in the Mushroom Kingdom. “Sarah, I looked at a professional party planner,” she whispered over the phone, “and…
