Vanessa called me on a Wednesday night, half-panicking. “Chloe wants a mermaid party. I looked up mermaid performers and they start at $275. For one hour. In a costume that honestly looked like it came from Spirit Halloween.” I told her to close the browser tab. Look—I’ve thrown enough kids’ parties at this point to…
Lindsay texted me at 11 PM on a Wednesday. “Harper wants a rainbow party. She told me this morning and she’s told me nine more times since. I don’t know what a rainbow party even looks like.” I did, actually. Because I’d helped four friends throw birthday parties in the last year and I’d been…
Owen told me in January he wanted a “taco party.” Not a birthday party. A taco party. He’d been saying it since Thanksgiving when my mother-in-law let him build his own taco at the kids’ table and he loaded it with ranch dressing, shredded cheese, and exactly zero meat. He turned to me with sour…
My daughter Norah asked for a “forest with real animals” party three weeks before she turned five. Real animals were not happening. But I spent the next 21 days figuring out how to make our suburban backyard in Columbus feel like an actual forest—and it worked better than I expected. Total cost: $76. Ten kids….
My friend Tina texted me on a Thursday night—9:47 PM, because Tina has no concept of reasonable texting hours—and said, “I think I want to do a movie night party for Avery’s birthday. Outside. With a projector. For eleven kids.” I stared at Biscuit. Biscuit stared at me. We both knew I was going to…
Last spring, our preschool team told me we had 45 minutes for “graduation” — which is teacher-speak for: we need a sweet moment for the parents, a few photos that don’t look chaotic, and zero glitter stuck in the carpet forever. I teach in New Jersey, and I’ve done enough end-of-year celebrations to know the…
My friend Megan called me on a Wednesday night in April, half-panicking. Her daughter Olivia had just announced—with the confidence only a nearly-five-year-old can pull off—that she wanted a “garden party like in the movie.” Megan had no idea which movie. Neither did I. Didn’t matter. Olivia wanted flowers, butterflies, and “fancy hats like the…
My neighbor Kristen knocked on my door last October holding a crumpled Pinterest printout and looking like she hadn’t slept. Her son Carter was turning 5 in three weeks. He’d been wearing the same dollar store cowboy hat to bed every night since August and told everyone at preschool his birthday was going to be…
Maya drew butterflies on everything. Her spelling tests, her math worksheets, the corners of her reading log. When her mom Diane emailed me in February asking if I had any party ideas for Maya’s 6th birthday—”she wants butterflies, obviously”—I laughed because I’d been watching this kid chase cabbage whites at recess since September. I’ve been…
Last October my friend Rachel texted me at 11 PM on a Tuesday. “Zoe wants a spa party. I don’t know what that means. Help.” Zoe was turning 9. Rachel had exactly 18 days and—her words—zero Pinterest energy left after planning a unicorn party the year before that nearly broke her. I told her I’d…
