The bell rang at 2:45 PM on March 12, 2025, and I knew I was in trouble. My classroom in Houston, Room 4B, was currently home to 22 eleven-year-olds who had been promised a Sanrio-themed celebration for Chloe’s birthday. I had exactly $42 in my pocket and forty-five minutes before the parents started pulling into…
Science is messy. My living room in Midtown Atlanta looked like a neon-green disaster zone after Leo’s 11th birthday on March 12, 2024, but the real stress wasn’t the vinegar-soaked rug. It was the bags. Every single parent knows the panic that sets in 48 hours before a party when you realize you haven’t thought…
My kitchen counter looked like a scene from a low-budget action movie last October 14th when my son Leo turned seven. There were black belts made of duct tape everywhere, three bowls of neon-green “ninja slime,” and a very stressed-out mom—me—staring at a stack of cardboard. I was trying to figure out the math because…
Twenty-two toddlers in a foam pit is a recipe for a sensory overload that only an elementary school teacher with a serious coffee habit can handle. Last March, specifically on Saturday the 14th, I found myself standing in the middle of a brightly colored gym in West University, Houston, wondering why I volunteered to coordinate…
Last May, my middle child, Sophie, turned four, and she decided her entire personality was now “glitter-flower-fairy.” Living in suburban Portland means we deal with a lot of rain, so her outdoor “Enchanted Forest” party quickly migrated into our living room, which was already cluttered with my 11-year-old Leo’s LEGO sets and 7-year-old Maya’s half-finished…
My kitchen floor in Atlanta still has a faint, sticky blue stain from what I call the Great Kakamora Juice Spill of 2024. It was June 12, exactly ninety-eight degrees with humidity that makes you feel like you are breathing through a warm, wet sock, and I was somehow in charge of seventeen five-year-olds. My…
Thirty minutes before my niece Chloe’s 8th birthday party kicked off in our Austin backyard, the wind decided to act up. It was March 14, 2025. I stood there, clutching a handful of orange balloons, watching the humidity wilt my perfectly curled hair. My golden retriever, Cooper, was busy trying to eat a stray piece…
My basement smelled like a chemical spill on June 12, 2025. I was trying to spray-paint gold leaf onto plastic leaves for my son Leo’s sixth birthday party, but the Denver heat turned the “non-toxic” fumes into a localized environmental disaster. I had this vision: a pride of lions, a flock of flamingos, and 11…
It was 104 degrees in Austin on July 12, 2025, and I was sweating through my favorite linen romper while trying to tape a massive navy blue fringe curtain to a brick wall. My best friend Chloe was turning 30, but since she is obsessed with the ocean—and her toddler is obsessed with a certain…
The first year Lily asked for an LOL Surprise party, I said yes before I understood what I was agreeing to. Three weeks later I was hot-gluing foil fringe onto everything I owned. My kitchen table had purple glitter on it for six days. The dog had glitter on his ears. I found a tiny…
