Austin’s humidity in mid-October is entirely disrespectful. I was sweating through my vintage Willie Nelson tee while dragging seventeen folding chairs across my backyard on October 14, 2023. My golden retriever, Barnaby, was already under the picnic table, quietly trying to swallow a yellow paper napkin. I was exhausted. I was throwing my nephew Leo’s…
It is currently 6 AM on a Tuesday in Rogers Park, and I am sitting on my kitchen floor covered in teal glitter and hot glue strings. My twins, Leo and Maya, are turning three on June 14, and I have exactly $50 left in my “party sanity” fund to make the magic happen. Living…
My living room looked like a unicorn exploded, and my ears were ringing from the chaos of thirteen four-year-olds marching through our tiny Chicago apartment. It was March 12, 2025, the day my twins, Arjun and Ishani, turned four, and I had exactly $50 to make it legendary. Living in a city where a single…
My living room currently looks like a glitter bomb went off in a snowstorm, which is pretty much the standard state of affairs since Lucy turned four last November. We live in a suburb of Portland where the rain basically never stops from October to May, so when your kid begs for an “Ice Palace”…
Leo’s face when I handed him a plain brown grocery bag at his fourth birthday was a look of pure, unadulterated betrayal. It was May 14th, and I had completely checked out on the “small stuff” because I was too busy stressing over a lopsided T-Rex cake that looked more like a melting green avocado….
Austin in mid-July feels like living inside a preheated oven set to a crisp 450 degrees. My golden retriever, Barkley, spends most of the afternoon pressed against the kitchen tile while I try to figure out how to celebrate my niece Maya turning the big one-zero without draining my savings account. Ten is a tricky…
My kitchen smells like a weird mix of wilted stems and fermented orange juice, and honestly, that pretty much sums up the aftermath of my sister Sarah’s 35th birthday bash last August. I spent three weeks obsessing over finding the perfect sunflower party supplies for adults because Sarah has this thing where she wants to…
My Logan Square apartment feels like a giant obstacle course on a good day, but on October 12, 2025, it became a full-blown construction zone for two very demanding five-year-olds. Leo and Sam, my twins, decided that turning five required nothing less than a “superhero headquarters” right in our living room. I looked at my…
My son Leo turned nine on March 12, 2024, and despite being on the cusp of double digits, he insisted on a celebration themed after a certain blue heeler from Australia. I had exactly $64 left in my “fun budget” and sixteen hyperactive kids descending on our small Denver backyard. My wife thought I was…
Walking into my sister Elena’s thirtieth birthday party felt like stepping into a sunset that hadn’t quite decided which color it liked best. My Logan Square apartment is tiny, barely enough room for a dining table and my twins’ toy bin, but that night, it was a palace of color. I spent exactly forty-two dollars…
