My kitchen counter currently looks like a glitter bomb went off in a zoo, and honestly, that’s just a Tuesday around here. My youngest, Maisie, hit the big three on July 14th, 2025, and if you know anything about three-year-olds, you know they are basically tiny, adorable dictators with zero impulse control. I spent weeks…
My kitchen table looked like a squirrel had exploded on it by 11:00 PM on May 14, 2022. I had glitter in my eyebrows, three empty mugs of lukewarm coffee scattered around, and a stack of cardstock that was supposed to become a woodland invitation for my daughter Maya’s 5th birthday. Living here in Portland,…
The smell of burnt sugar and ozone still haunts the corner of my garage where the 2024 “Great Popcorn Disaster” occurred. I stood there, a single dad in Atlanta with a dish towel in one hand and a manual for a rented industrial popper in the other, while fourteen kids waited for snacks that looked…
My living room looked like a unicorn had a mid-life crisis and exploded. Pink glitter was everywhere—in the rug, in the dog’s fur, and somehow inside the closed butter dish in the kitchen. It was March 14, 2022, Lily’s fourth birthday, and I was determined to find the best party hats for princess party success…
I am the kind of dad who reads the fine print on a toaster before plugging it in, so when my son Sam turned 12 last May 14th, I wasn’t just looking for decor. I was on a mission for the safest, cleanest-burning first rodeo candles in all of Denver. We chose a “First Rodeo”…
The floor was sticky before the first kid even arrived at my place in Atlanta. It was October 14, 2022, and my son Leo was turning five. I had spent three hours trying to make a “web” out of white yarn in our small living room, which mostly just looked like a giant spider had…
Last March, specifically on the rainy afternoon of March 12, 2024, I found myself sitting on my floor in Austin, surrounded by half-eaten tacos and a very confused Golden Retriever named Barnaby. My nephew, Cooper, was turning seven, and his one demand was a party that felt like a “real forest adventure” right in my…
The humidity in Houston on March 12, 2024, was already hovering at 85 percent when I realized twenty-two toddlers were about to descend on my classroom for our annual “O-fish-ally Three” bash. Being an elementary teacher means I live for a theme, but 19 three-year-olds in a confined space requires the tactical precision of a…
My kitchen smelled like wet dog and lavender-scented steam when the first batch of scones hit the floor on Saturday morning. It was March 12, and in Portland, that means the rain was coming down in sheets, mocking my plans for a “Garden Tea Party” on the patio. Sophie, my oldest, was turning 12, and…
My living room in Denver looked like Poseidon had a bad day on March 14, 2026. Maya, my daughter, turned eight that afternoon, and she demanded an aquatic wonderland. I stood on a shaky step ladder at 9:15 AM, trying to tape under the sea streamers for kids to a popcorn ceiling that clearly hated…
